“To me the definition of true masculinity – and femininity, too – is being able to lay in your own skin comfortably.” ~ Vincent D’Onofrio
For years, I did not understand what it truly meant to be feminine. I saw examples of what I thought it was -what I was raised to think it was- everywhere I went. It was plastered on billboards, blaring on the television, and published in magazines. These were all negative images; things telling me that I was not good enough, not girly enough, to be considered feminine and see my true beauty as a woman.
For a long expanse of time, I was not comfortable in my own skin. It was not until this past year that I started to become that way. In embracing what society does not see as feminine, I embraced the feminine in myself.
A while back, I was told that guys just do not like girls that are androgynous. As someone who has always been fairly androgynous, this hurt me to my core. It lead to feelings of whether I was “good enough” at being a girl or not. But, being a girly girl and looking the part is not what femininity is about.
Femininity is a divine aspect of your character. It is part of your being. There is reference to a divine feminine being part of everyone; like yin and yang. We all have the divine masculine and divine feminine within ourselves. I never truly connected to that divine feminine aspect of myself until I rejected American society’s ideals of feminine beauty.
My first step to “rejecting” my femininity was to stop shaving. The hair on my legs and arm pits does not mean I am less of a woman now. My second step was to start covering my hair. I do this for a few reasons which I will go into depth at some later point. Sometimes I wear a hat, sometimes it is a scarf. My third step was to wear more modest clothing. Lately I can be found wearing flannels and jeans (they’re just so comfy!!!).
My femininity does not disappear when I choose not to shave. It does not disappear when I choose to dress in a way that is not obviously girly.
Now, I am not saying that my way is better than your way of embracing the divine feminine. This is only my way.
There is so much more that I could say on this topic, but I had to get something out as it has been eating at me to write what I have been feeling. I am welcome to everyone else’s responses, as this is a major topic that is being passed around and can be seen as a topic regarding spirituality as well.